Long Island · Estd. MMXXII

THE BAT MAN

A private practice in nocturnal pest control.
By appointment, after dusk.

The Practice ↓
40°47′N · 73°08′W
Vol. I
Bespoke·Nocturnal·Chemical-free·By Appointment·Long Island·Cedar·Bespoke·Nocturnal·Chemical-free·By Appointment·Long Island·Cedar·Bespoke·Nocturnal·Chemical-free·By Appointment·Long Island·Cedar·
Chapter I · A Quiet Practice

The architect
of the night.

One bat will quiet a thousand mosquitoes in an hour. A small colony will empty an acre by dawn. We do not spray. We do not trap. We commission a residence · and let the night attend to the rest.

Observation N°02
Field Data
Twelvehundredmosquitoesperhour,perbat.Multipliedacrossacolonyofthirty.
0+
Mosquitoes / hour
0
Bats per colony
0°F
Interior temperature
0 yr
Cedar lifespan
Chapter II · The Atelier

Built by hand,
numbered by name.

Each house is rough-cut cedar, jointed and sealed in non-toxic stain over the course of a week. No two are identical. Each carries a serial, recorded in the casebook.

Method

A discipline,
in four movements.

From first walk to first colony · a measured, four-stage progression carried out across a single season.

Week 1

I.Survey

A walk of the property at dusk. Flight corridors, water, and prevailing wind are noted in the casebook.

Week 2–3

II.Commission

Each house is built from rough-cut cedar to specifications refined for the Eastern Brown Bat. Numbered.

Week 4

III.Installation

Mounted twelve to twenty feet aloft, on the south aspect required to hold an interior temperature of 85°F.

Season 1–2

IV.Tenancy

A maternal colony arrives. From that night, your grounds are quietly patrolled, dusk to dawn.

Chapter III · The Object

An object,
at altitude.

Mounted twelve to twenty feet aloft, on the southern aspect required to hold an interior temperature of 85°F. Placement, entirely, is everything.

Commissions

Three ways
to begin.

Every commission is bespoke. The figures below are points of departure. The final brief is set after I have walked the property.

N°01

The Tenant

A single house

from$200
  • ·One handcrafted cedar house
  • ·On-site survey & placement
  • ·Professional pole installation
  • ·First-season colonization brief
Signature
N°02

The Colony

Two paired houses

from$475
  • ·Two handcrafted cedar houses
  • ·Full property assessment
  • ·Dual-aspect mounting
  • ·Year-one monitoring visit
  • ·Source-water remediation notes
N°03

The Estate

Acre and above

from$950
  • ·Four houses, custom-placed
  • ·Pond & water-source consult
  • ·Triple-chamber premium boxes
  • ·Two seasonal check-ins
  • ·Ten-year workmanship warranty
Enquiries

Considered
questions.

Will bats roost in the attic?

+

No. A correctly placed house is far more attractive than your attic · warmer, drier, tucked into the flight corridors they already use. Installing one is the most reliable way to keep them out of the home.

Are bats dangerous to a household?

+

Bats are gentle, retiring, and want nothing to do with people. They never approach humans, children, or pets.

How long until the colony arrives?

+

Scout bats often appear within weeks. A maternal colony typically establishes within one to two seasons.

What of the winter?

+

Long Island bats migrate or hibernate. The house remains. By spring the colony returns · generally larger, year on year.

Where on Long Island do you work?

+

Nassau and Suffolk counties, from Great Neck to Montauk. A modest travel fee applies east of Riverhead.

Casebook
Selected correspondence
Our backyard is unrecognizable. We dine outdoors again · no citronella, no fogging. The houses themselves are beautiful objects.
Caroline H.
Lloyd Harbor
Discreet, professional, and entirely effective. Two seasons in and the colony has doubled. I recommend him to every neighbor who asks.
James W.
Sands Point
He walked the property at dusk, took notes by hand, and returned with a brief that read like a piece of architecture. The mosquitoes are simply gone.
Eleanor M.
East Hampton
Begin · Free Survey

Reclaim
the evening.

A complimentary on-site survey across Nassau & Suffolk. We reply within the hour.

  • · No obligation, no pressure
  • · Reply within 60 minutes
  • · 100% chemical-free practice
  • · Fully insured · Long Island only
Or by telephone · 631 · 555 · 0199
Step 1 of 5Property type

What kind of property are we surveying?